Teachers affect eternity

“We can only do things that are humanly possible as teachers and lecturers. But sometimes we are often expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. It’s a miracle how often we manage to accomplish this impossible task”

It’s Teacher’s Day again – 16^th May 2013. Some would say, so what? What indeed is the significance of this day? It’s the day that we reminisce about the good, strict and bad teachers we had going through school and university life … hey, remember the Professor that used to sleep during presentation in the masters classes … (sigh).

It’s with these disappointments that we faced; we hope not to do the same mistakes with our students. We don’t have to learn from our own mistakes only, we could always learn from others, that’s what I always say.

I've had a fair share of disappointed teachers as well. Not because I was lazy or not prepared for class but on a different level. It was my drama teacher during my university days. I was an English literature minor and had to take drama as one of the requirements. I didn't fancy performing in front of an audience but I had to do it to pass and I did pretty well, scoring A’s along the way. Reason being, I took up roles that no one wanted, one as an old lady having problems with her teenage daughter and another as a beggar for “The Grapes of Wrath”.

In my final year I dropped English literature to major in Journalism. My drama teacher sent out a 4 point bulletin to look for me. When I finally had some free time off my busy schedule at the campus newspaper, I went to see her. She expressed disappointment that I didn't want to be an English literature major. I told her that I was a realistic person and journalism was just the thing that dealt with facts. At that point, I had this notion that literature majors were dreamers and always had their heads in the clouds.

Broadcast Production Project class of January 2013

Seeing that she couldn't sway me, she said, “Maybe you’re not literature material” but she gave

me a parting hug nevertheless. Breaking away from her bear-hug, I said to her “I might be a realist but that won’t stop me from dreaming, you were the one who taught me to that ….” She smiled with tears in her eyes and I left… never looking back from the path I had chosen.

Henry Brooks Adams was quoted as saying, “Teachers affect eternity; they can never tell where their influence stops.” And this is so true, of how much my drama teacher has affected me, although these days my dreams are more Freudian, as my brain goes into overdrive after a long day on campus.

The Talmud says it in a different way: “When you teach a student, you also teach your student's children.”

For those who persevere in the compounded role of educator, counselor and disciplinarian, we are often kept on our toes handling a range of duties from preparing for classes, getting lecture notes together and marking tons of imperfect language to handling students’ complaints, grievances on financial issues  personal matters and the best reason thus far, the inability to focus for at least 2 hours, the normal length for any class lecture.

In class it gets worse sometimes as some lecturers have complained – short attention span, fidgety and a ‘tidak apa’ (nonchalant) attitude. On bad days, ever so often we feel we’re clutching at straws but on good days, which are scarce … getting calls from ex-students that have “actually made it in the workforce” is very satisfying, providing they still remember you… and call.

When I taught Media Ethics, which is very grey and subjective subject, the favorite question towards the end of the semester was always “How do we make decisions that are ethical?” My standard answer would normally be “it depends on your values, principles and loyalties to yourself and the organization you work for” but on one dreadful day, I was apparently going through a lot… I heard myself tell the kids, “you need your head to co-ordinate work and you need your heart to co-ordinate the other things in your life. You have to strike a balance, find equilibrium between the two, to function. Failing to do that, things would go haywire”.

In other class, this question was asked “How do you make difficult ethical decisions?” Diving deep into my industry experience I told them “To me metaphorically speaking, making difficult decisions is like losing someone you love. It’s never easy; I can’t tell you how best to do it as I’m not an expert and have never claimed to be one. I can’t exactly tell you how to handle it as different people grapple with it differently”.

The class fell silent… It’s those profound things that I normally give my students at the end of the class or semester that leave them thinking or at least I hope they do. One of the students came to my office after class and asked me if that was what I was grappling with and I just answered nonchalantly “somewhat”. Her equally thoughtful answer was “its okay Miss Lina, you’re only human”.

“You miss your deadline, you die”

Yes we are. We can only do things that are humanly possible as teachers and lecturers. But sometimes we are often expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. It’s a miracle how often we manage to accomplish this impossible task.

Now, teaching a group of kids for the diploma and degree broadcasting programmes presents a different set of challenges all together. Although the underlying tribulations might be the same, the planning of the actual delivery of knowledge, the updates from the fast moving industry and the integration of practical know-how which is essential to equip these kids for their future, is no doubt a totally different ball game.

For these kids that I teach and those who have gone through the rigor of assessments, projects and exams, I can only hope that they will take away the essential experiences it was intended to give them. It’s always exciting for me when the deadlines get closer and the students scrambled to piece their assignments together. Some passed with flying colors, while a few were casualties of my strict ruling of “You miss your deadline, you die”.

I often tell these kids to “reach for the stars and never sell yourself short … but at the same time, be as humble as the pearls on the ocean bed”. With that we also cling to the modest hope that they will turn out to be decent human beings that have a fighting chance to make it in the world. And if only they came with an aptitude that matches their attitude!

It is with this responsibility and compassion that we stay on our course and forge on … but only those who teach would understand these collocations, empathize with the heartaches and jubilate when we manage to get at least one students to turn over a new leaf.

So for the dedicated teachers and lecturers the student-teacher bond can be laden with despair, tears and disappointments but for those who persevere to the end, the rewards truly far outweigh the sacrifices.

So Happy Teacher’s Day dear colleagues to each and every one of you, you deserved it!!!

Instigating change in the media world

VIDEO JOURNALISM: Let people tell their own stories

IN the ever fast-moving world of the media, changes and developments happen at a supersonic speed given the technology and know-how.

These vicissitudes also provoke ideas and thoughts on how best to use the media in a positive way. Although there are missing links here and there in the tapestry of the bigger picture, it is interesting to see how they can be addressed.

What better way than a meeting among academics, researchers and practitioners in the communication and media fields?

This exciting global get-together happened recently in Penang at a conference organised by the Communication Department of Universiti Utara Malaysia.

With the theme Revisiting Communication For Organisational And Social Change: Exploring The Missing Link, it inspired creative ideas and promised countless opportunities for these professionals to share their opinions.

When I found out that the 3rd International Conference On Communication And Media was being held in Penang, I was determined to be part of it as the body of knowledge would be massive.

Firstly, it would enhance my academic portfolio; secondly, there is the experience of making a presentation to a different crowd of academics and researchers; and thirdly, I love the island, so rustic with good food and friendly people.

My co-writer Badrul Hassan and I produced a paper on how a single person -- a woman -- could instigate change through the media. For a shift to happen, you must be prepared for the consequences.

And if you use the social networking sites to highlight ideas, they can go viral very wide and fast.

On the second day of the conference, I presented our paper Indrani Kopal: A Case Study Of Video Journalism As Women Leadership. Indrani is a Malaysian journalist, without a high position or abbreviations in front of her name but she is instigating change to help the disenfranchised subjectives.

I figured if I couldn't attract the attention of the audience with the title, at least my Prezi slides would.

The conference committee slotted the paper under the sub-theme of Political Economy Of Media And Change. It was spot on. To a certain degree, narratives of gendered leadership in a post-colonial nation such as Malaysia have not always been accessible to the members of this multi-ethnic society.

If a leadership quality may be signified by the breaking of one's silence in the face of injustice, we contend that Indrani's leadership lies in her praxis of agency.

The praxis of agency is an important political action or informed resistance by the subject to subvert the forces that construct and define their subjectivity in the first place.

It is not a coincidence that Indrani decided to cast her net rather wide.

During one interview, she made the important assertion of connecting people with politics, arguing that "politics shouldn't belong to a certain group of people and activists shouldn't own politics".

Being a video journalist, she is aware of her capacity to exercise or stretch her agency to maximise the discursive impact of her coverage on communal and national issues.

However, she insists that she is more comfortable as "a storyteller", which requires her to make adjustments to how she approaches the subjects of her stories without losing the impact factor.

Storytelling is indeed a critical form of articulation through strategic narrative acts into which Indrani deftly embeds her sense of agency, with full self-realisation of her position and what she can do.

Her optimistic sense of agency has increased her opportunity as a video journalist with a mission to engage the establishment in the disenchanted affairs of the disenfranchised.

In her works, she has captured various periods of transition, which were fracturing the already desperate lives of the ethnic Indian-Hindu community for the last two decades on sensitive issues such as land rights.

Certain contemporary social issues have also attracted her attention, including psychologically and sexually deviant manifestations by certain members of the society such as suicide, trans-sexuality or even a rare case of "mistaken identity".

Indrani is also sensitive to the media subjectivity of the Penan indigenous community in Sarawak, which is no longer a local issue but one that is well-exposed and discussed nationally and internationally.

She has arguably built her leadership talent by immersing herself in these spaces of conflicts, armed with strong professional principles, techniques and an insight into what her subjects really want say to the authorities. Indeed, her central and ethical practice as a video journalist is always to "let people tell their own story".

"Speak to them and let them tell their own story, in their own voice." This, she has learnt, is a practical and persuasive strategy over the years.

All in all, the three-day event offered an array of topics, including communication for social and organisational change, international communication and culture, cultural sensitivities, sustainable development communication, communication policy, new media and culture.

These topics stimulated minds and provoked continuous dialogues which, hopefully, will eventually generate understanding as well as scholarly and insightful findings for academicians and media practitioners alike. 

The writer is a Broadcasting and Journalism senior lecturer at Taylor’s University

Read more: PERSPECTIVE: Instigating change in the media world - Sunday Life & Times - New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/life-times/sunday-life-times/perspective-instigating-change-in-the-media-world-1.276954#ixzz2TDpu8IvD

Mere observations, fair comment and actual facts

The Frontiers journey has been an adventure for me, from its inception till the writing of this closing entry. 

In the 1½ years Frontiers has been in operation, we have churned out 21 editions a month. In that time, we have trained nearly 30 journalism students. Some had panache, while others were lukewarm with a touch of ‘safeness’ to their stories. But that was okay, as the idea for these ‘probies’ was always to go far enough to make an impact but not overboard to the extent of getting into trouble.

The main intention was to equip the students with the fundamentals for the world of journalism. The point of contention was that some quarters could only find fault without looking at the bigger picture of what Frontiers was all about.

Nevertheless, we’ve received good and interesting comments for some of our stories. From authors like Ellie Campbell, whose book When Good Friends Go Bad we featured, to people who thought our statements could jeopardize careers! We were also very pleased when the Star newspaper picked up on The Tamil Calendar Begins Again! and ran a centrespread on it.

Frontiers and the Corporate Communications Department have also shared stories and supported each other on coverage of university events.

When we started Frontiers many months ago, we only got 544 hits. The numbers have increased steadily to 1,359 visits as of March 2011. According to the Google analytics managing our account, the visits were from 71 countries/territories including Malaysia, the United States, Canada, our neighbor Singapore, Australia, Philippines, India and Indonesia, just to name the top 10 countries. It is amazing to know that Frontiers is also viewed in 33 languages!

So I guess it wasn’t a surprise when we received requests from writers as far away as Arizona to write about health, and another from Zen College Life to discuss matters pertaining to college life.

I also invited the renowned author of ‘A Malaysian Journey’, Rehman Rashid, to share his thoughts with us but I guess that will not become a reality now.

The idea of creating a campus community that would encompass the Cheras neighborhood has expanded beyond Frontiers and further than our expectations. It truly has been a passage of intellectual discourse in writing, thinking and maturity with these kids. Sharing experiences and learning off each other has made us better, stronger and more diverse.

My heartfelt thanks to Hasrimy.com for sponsoring Frontiers during what we theme as ‘our glorious years’. We couldn’t have sailed this smoothly without Jimmy and his team of tech-savvy experts. As the technical ‘guru’, Jimmy has taught the students to manage, construct and expand the website to what we have today.

My deepest thanks also to Belinda Chee, who was my Assistant Editor for the duration of this project. Taking time from your busy schedule to help sub stories pertaining to the university made things easier for me.

To the students who have gone through the rigor of assessments or internship with Frontiers, I sincerely hope you will take away the essential experiences it was intended to give you. It was always exciting for me when the deadlines got closer and the students scrambled to piece their stories together. Some passed with flying colors, while a few were casualties of my strict ruling of “you miss your deadline, you die”.

It was a cool journey for me as Editor-in-Chief. Subbing grammatical errors and sifting out incomplete facts and figures while trying to maintain each individual's writing style was not easy. All this mostly happened during the weekend, throughout the night, just before the uploading of the new stories at the end of every month.

Nevertheless, it gave me satisfaction when an issue came together. It also gave me a chance to write about things that mattered and were important to me, even if I merely wrote out of necessity to ‘help out’ with the line-up when some stories didn’t quite make the cut.

By and large, Frontiers was always about the students, for the students, and working with the students. That, I will miss the most. But above all else, I still believe if facts and observations are fairly presented, the truth will take care of itself. And it has.

Remembering broken hearts on Valentines

There is no remedy or substitute for such shattered affairs even if you join me in humming “And when I grow too old to dream, your love will live in my heart”.

Recently some of us celebrated Valentines. I say ‘some’ as it is not one of the main celebrations in the country. Some say, we celebrate because we are hopeless romantics, some rejoice to show their love and others find it just too expensive to indulge as everything is overcharged and thus making Valentine’s rather overrated!

Not to sabotaged a romantic interlude but there have been stories of unrequited love or ill-fated relationships that have galvanized the whole world because they were so passionate, so matching, so true and yet not destined to be fulfilled.

But such bizarre and sorrowful tales of unhappy love were actually real life happenings as I found out from WAN HUA CHAPOUTHIER’s article titled Tales of Two Cities: Paris.

Have a read:

Delon and Schneider

To begin with, there was Alain Delon, the dangerously handsome French actor and Romy Schneider, the talented and beautiful Austrian actress. In the 60s and 70s, their Paris-based and much-publicized romance ended in each going separate ways until, at the early and untimely demise of Romy in 1982 in Paris, some form of redemption finally came by in the form of a long, handwritten letter of adieu written by Alain Delon who confessed that he had lost the love of his life and placed the letter on her coffin.

Much earlier, in the 1940s, Edith Piaf (1915 – 1963), the late French singer whose signature song is La Vie En Rose fell in love with Marcel Cerdan, France’s middleweight boxing champion who won the world title in 1948. Marcel was already married with three children. Then suddenly, an unforeseen plane crash took Marcel away from Edith. Took him away from her, forever afterwards.

Paif and Cerdan

Edith Piaf never recovered from the loss and she delivered the heart-wrenching Hymn to Love which many regard as even more unforgettable than La Vie En Rose as it evokes the searing, inconsolable pains of a broken heart.

Before spending ebbing years in a nursing home in Grasse near the French Riveria, Edith Piaf used to live in a ground floor apartment at No. 19, Boulevard Lannes in the 16th district in Paris where for a while, she tried to carry on, boosted morally by sincere friends, by the attention of a much younger companion and by the rare and forgiving attitude of Marcel Cerdan’s widow who used to visit her with her children. But she finally passed away like a burnt-out candle with no wick left to be rekindled.

Not far from Boulevard Lannes, the great diva, Maria Callas (1923 – 1977), breathed her last inside her apartment along avenue Georges Mandel near Place de Trocadero. Except for two faithful and long serving domestic helpers, she was alone. Her solitude epitomized her great destitution. Fate robbed her first of her voice and then of Aristotle Onassis, the Greek shipping magnate for whom she left her first husband and manager.

Callas and Onasis

When a heart breaks, life’s vital force is also shattered and any inherent talent also flies out of the window. So, when gifted persons stop to sing, to act, to paint, to write and even to rule, their entourage should take heed of the crippling effect that can be caused by sentimental deception and grief.

Get a CD where you can listen to Maria Callas singing the role of Norma. You will weep with her and comprehend this Greek melodrama of our era.

As the whole world saw it, Onassis dumped Maria Callas and married Jacqueline Kennedy. But, shortly before he passed away at the American Hospital at Neuilly, just outside Paris, Onassis returned to Maria Callas and the latter held a press conference at the chic Maxim’s restaurant where she was dining with Onassis. The press conference retrieved her loss of face, so to speak. Nobody likes to be jilted and especially, publicly jilted.

But illness overtook and this great passion was snuffed out into another unhappy ending.

The torch above the tunnel where the accident happened 

Next in line is not an apartment haunted by a sad love story but a gigantic gold-painted torch. Like a flaming Olympic torch, it stands above the tunnel near the Alma Marceau metro station where Princess Diana and her friend, Dodi Al-Fayed were killed in a freakish car accident around midnight of Aug 30, 1995.

At that instant, you cannot even wish for a fairy godmother who, with the wave of a magic wand at midnight could save Cinderella from any impossible situation. Tragedy struck so quickly, so unsparingly and with such cruel fatality!

I saw a few, faded flowers placed near the base of the torch which is still regarded by tourists as the landmark for the famous “romance that was nipped in the bud”. It only convinced me that in the awful, cutting cold of February, Valentine’s Day is also as a day to remember such broken lives, broken hearts and broken dreams.

There is no remedy or substitute for such shattered affairs even if you join me in humming “And when I grow too old to dream, your love will live in my heart”.

Reflections of 2012 and Projections of 2013

When I started teaching this subject two semesters ago, it was like any journalism class I had taught. The only diffrence was the content and delivery as this was a diploma class. The kids were not many but fun to teach. Being an ex-broadcast jounalist, it was easy as I could fall back on my decade worth of experience in the industry, having worked at the most happening tv station at that time,TV3.

Students perception

This semester since the school was embarking on blended learning, I thought I’d try yet another different approach. Instead of the the normal “please put your assignments in my pigeon hole”, this time it was “please upload your stories and pictures on the blog”.

We discussed which platform they preferred and they unimously picked blogspot since all of them have or rather had blogs they they hadn’t updated in a long time. So a blog it was.

There was basically three assignmets – an event, a feature and a current affairs issue. Sounds simple enough, right and given that the assignments was given two weeks before the actual uploading of the stories as compared to the industry which was only one day, I thought that it was pretty fair.

But I guess it wasn’t for some of these kids. You see I only have one ruling for deadlines - “you miss my deadline, you die”. Some passed with flying colours while a few were casualities of this strict ruling of mine. But undoubtly has been a fun journey reminding the kids time and again to send their drafts and it was always exciting when the deadlines got closer and the students scrambled to piece their stories together.

I’ve always encouraged my student to write and send their articles to the newspapers because they will never know how good they are unless the editors think that its good enough to print. On that note, Laveda Charles sent in her third assignment titled “Encouraging online socialising” covering one of our very own events called ‘CommFest 2012’ and it made the New Straits Times on the 29^th November 2012. That was certainly a proud achievement for Laveda, the school and for me.

I’m sure the students will forge on to achieve their dreams to be aspiring journalists or they better die trying. This blog will continue be their platform to express themselves as it was intended for them and by them as you can see some have even uploaded their reflection of the semester thay have endured in my class.

Although it would be nice if this project could be developed into an online newspaper in the future for all journalism students to explore and experience. But until then, for those who are reading this blog, happy reading, ‘Long Live Journalists’ and have a Gregorian New Year!

04 November 2012 | last updated at 09:10AM

STUDY TIPS: Astound the examiner

By LINA LATIF | education@nst.com.my 

MY colleagues and I recently found ourselves overwhelmed with marking assignments and final exam scripts for different programmes.

Many of us had wished we were Pyro -- the character from the X-Men series that has the ability to burn things -- during this episodic ordeal so that we could make a big bonfire and burn everything!

This is because many students had failed to show they have understood the subject matter, and, in turn, failed miserably. Others, on the other hand, had the fundamentals but not the right technique for answering questions effectively.

Communication is all about "justified arguments", so here are a few strategies and tips to help students excel:

1. Language

Mass Communication students must understand that written and oral communication skills are vital to being an effective communicator. They should constantly improve on their language skills by reading newspapers, feature articles, books and journals.

2. Original ideas -- a flair for writing

Originality counts in writing. At the undergraduate level, lecturers do not expect an award-winning piece of writing from students; simple and clear ideas would suffice. Students must think outside of the box and use their imagination when they write.

3. Read to write

The more you read, the more ideas you have for writing. Ideas should not only come from textbooks; they can come from observation, experience and, of course, a lot of reading.

4. Taking notes

Students need to attend lectures and not rely on just notes available on the university portal as the lecturer often discusses examples during lectures. Notes without further elaboration may mean little to absentees.

5. Self-study

If you prefer to study on your own, you need to firstly understand the basic principles of the subject matter. Secondly, determine how these principles work in the media environment and the effects. Thirdly, provide examples and valid discussions based on the question.

6. Discussion groups

Informal study groups and revision sessions also work. Always join a group of hardworking students whom you can learn from. Some universities have begun to practise PASS (Peer Assisted Study Sessions) that have been proven to help weak and strong students alike.

7. Tutorials are imperative

Successful students attend tutorials and come prepared with queries and ideas for assignments, projects or workshops. They listen, ask relevant questions and, most importantly, participate. They do not waltz into class late without bringing a book to jot down notes.

8. Effectual presentation of ideas

The standard way of answering exam questions is writing the introduction, body and conclusion. Take some time to think and organise your thoughts after reading the question. Create a mind map of your answers. An organised, easy-to-read presentation always invites high marks rather than one that is disorganised and disjointed. If the points are not in order, the examiner would have to play a "guessing game" to look for them.

9. Answer the question

Students tend to make the mistake of writing what they remember rather than answering the question. Exams are not for students to regurgitate the notes that have been given to them throughout the course of study, but rather to apply what they have learnt.

10. Legible writing

Your writing MUST be legible, preferably font size 12! Comprehensible writing is important as the examiner often has to battle with deciphering students' illegible scribbling topped with lingo and SMS language.

Read more: STUDY TIPS: Astound the examiner - Learning Curve - New Straits Times http://www.nst.com.my/channels/learning-curve/study-tips-astound-the-examiner-1.166003?cache=03D163D03edding-pred-1.1176%2F%3FpFpentwage63Dp%3A%2Fhe3D03Dn63Frea-rti3D19.3D163D03edding-pred-1.1176%2F%3FpFpentwage63Dp%3A%2Fhe3D03Dn63Frea-rti3D19.111w5ii%2Fed-1.1176%2F%2F2.2525%2F2.2525%2F1.33120%2F7.184928%3Fkey%3DMalaysia%2F7.187954%3Fpage%3D0%3Fpage%3D0%3Fpage%3D0%3Fpage%3D0#ixzz2Di2yrTCu

Truly, Madly Deeply

A love story that had its beginnings in 1953 Hangzhou, survives personal and political upheavals, to come to fruition decades later. Liu Zhihua reports:

It was in the autumn of 1953 that Danny Li met Yuan Dibao in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province, and fell in love. But fate intervened forcing the pair to live on two different continents for 54 years. Miraculously, in May, the couple came together again and got married in September.

Their story became a hot news on Chinese newspapers and TV stations. Netizens declared their love "was the purest in the world".

"It was like a dream. I never expected to see him ever again," 83-year-old Li says.

Li was born in Beijing in 1927, to a French mother and Chinese father. At the age of 24, she became one of the youngest teachers of Zhejiang Medical College at Hangzhou, and became well known for her mastery of four languages - Chinese, English, Russian and French.

In 1953, Yuan Dibao, a handsome 25-year-old freshman entered her life. Yuan was the class monitor, and the best student in Li's Russian language class. He was brilliant and diligent, earning full scores on most quizzes and exams.

"He was a good person, very nice to others. All the students and teachers liked him very much," Li says.



From Dongnan Morning Newspaper/for China Daily

Yuan Dibao and Danny Li in the 1950s. Provided to China Daily

 As Li began to learn more about Yuan, she discovered they had a lot in common. Her warm feelings for him evolved into love. Despite the prejudice against a relationship between a teacher and student, they grew close.

Only Li's parents knew what was happening. Every time Yuan went to Li's office, ostensibly to ask for help with studies, they would arrange their after-class dates. The city of Hangzhou was witness to their sweet love story.

Yuan would often walk Li home and stay for a while. Her parents were open about their fondness for this polite and charming young man. While Li was in paradise, Yuan was torn between happiness and guilt.

"I sensed he was holding back something, but didn't pay much attention," Li tells China Daily.

What Li didn't know then was that Yuan was married. Yuan was already 25 when he was finally admitted to college in 1953. He was considered well past the age for marriage in his hometown, Gulangyu Islet in Xiamen, Fujian province. Arranged by his family, he married his sister's friend. A year went by but Yuan said nothing about his marriage to Li.

In 1954, before moving with his school to Chengdu, capital of Sichuan province in Southwest China, he finally summoned the courage and told her he had a wife - a woman toward whom he felt morally responsible and cared for until her death. Li was shocked. Although she loved Yuan, the couple broke up.

"I had no choice. We couldn't build our happiness on the misfortune of another innocent woman," Li says.

They never saw one another after that.

In 1956, Li left for Lyon, France, with her mother. The father joined them in 1962. Before leaving China, Li wrote to Yuan informing him of her departure. To her surprise, she received not one but several letters over the next few days. The couple then began to keep in touch through mail.

Letters from Li reached Yuan's workplace, and he kept them at a relative's place to hide them from his wife.

"His letters were a great comfort to me in those days," Li says.

Her new life was hard. She not only struggled to survive in a society that was strange to her and refused to recognize her diplomas and certificates, but also experienced culture shock. Li learnt shorthand and typewriting, and finally found a job as a secretary in an international trade company.

Meanwhile, Yuan graduated and started working in Xiamen. In their letters, the couple seldom mentioned their hardships. Yuan shared with Li his happiness over becoming a father, and Li sent him tins of baby milk powder and clothes, knowing that those were days of scarcity in China.

When the "cultural revolution" (1966-1976) started, Li's letters began to be returned. To avoid causing any trouble to Yuan, she stopped writing to him. But Li could not forget him.

"I could not start a new relationship, although there were many who knocked on my door. I found his love for me most earnest, and felt no one else could match that," she says.

In 1976, as soon as she was sure it was safe, Li wrote to Yuan's workplace as before. But that letter, too, was returned. She didn't know Yuan's workplace had changed; he had informed her of that in a letter he managed to send out in 1973, but it never reached Li.

The next contact between them occurred 45 years later, in May, 2010.

During the Spring Festival (in late February), Ouyang Luying, Yuan's third daughter-in-law came to know from a relative (the one who helped Yuan hide Li's letters) that her father-in-law had once dated a beautiful foreign teacher.

"When he told me the story I was deeply touched; my mother-in-law had died in 1994, so I encouraged him to write a letter."

Although Yuan often visited the places in Hangzhou that he and Li used to frequent, he never expected to resume contact with her. Ouyang awakened all his deep memories. He stayed up late for several days to pen five letters.

Besides six short sentences expressing his wishes for good health in Chinese to Li, Yuan also wrote in English to her relatives lest she was dead, saying that he was a student and friend of Li and wanted to know where she was.

He sent out one letter every other day; if he didn't receive a reply to any of them, he decided, that would be the end of the matter. At last, a letter arrived from France.

With trembling hands, Li opened it. Seeing the familiar handwriting, he thought, "Thank god! She's alive!"

The envelope contained a photo of Li and a three-page letter. In it Li took Yuan through all that had happened in her life.

In 1974, nine years after their last correspondence, Li earned the equivalent of a Master's in Chinese and soon got a job as a Chinese teacher at Jean Moulin - Lyon 3 University on condition that she would earn her doctorate within 10 years - a condition she fulfilled in 1979.

She retired in 1992 as an associated professor from the university, and then worked as vice-president in a non-profit organization that helped the university's Chinese students. She remained single and lived alone in a house her grandparent left her after her parents died.

On May 1, she saw Yuan's letter waiting for her when she returned home. "I didn't reply immediately, because I couldn't believe it was true," Li says.

She sat with his letter in the yard from noon till midnight. When the next day brought another letter, Li was finally convinced this was no dream. The couple started exchanging letters as before. Sometimes, with help from Ouyang, they would talk over the phone but preferred letters as Yuan suffers a mild hearing loss.

"Ouyang called me 'Danny Mom' during her first phone call. I had never been called mom before. I can't describe how I felt!" Li says.

Yuan Dibao, 82, and Danny Li, 83, are together again 
 after separating for more than half a century.

A month later, Yuan invited Li to Xiamen, and said it was up to her whether she wanted to live with him or just visit. When Li flew to Xiamen, Yuan and the family met her at the airport. Yuan held a bunch of 55 roses.

Li accepted Yuan's offer of marriage, and they registered their wedding on Sept 21, the day before the Mid-Autumn Festival, traditionally a time for family reunions in China.

Yuan's sons held a big wedding ceremony for them on Sept 26. Li and Yuan now live in the third son's house. Every morning they take a stroll on the beach, hand in hand.

"What is gone is gone; we want to be with each other for the rest of our lives. I have poor sight, and he has a problem with hearing.

"I'm his ears, and he is my eyes," Li says.